I enjoy pursuing multiple venues at once. Something about the chaos of many projects sends my limbic into overdrive. I thrive on the deliciousness of not knowing what I am doing but having absolute control over every detail.
I may possibly be insane when I think about everything I am doing and how it is never enough.
All I can think about is what I can achieve next.
However, I am not really achieving anything if I never start what I finish. I have all these open tabs with no real goal.
I am a notebook full of unfinished tasks.
I start a new job today. I hope it will lead to a career. I am tired of finding something that will effectively pay the bills. I crave stability.
Read the last sentence. Here I am thriving on chaos and craving stability. Perhaps I am stable, I just long for more than what I have.
At this very moment I am burning CDs for one job, editing a chapter for my book, thinking about how to publish my children’s book, and fretting about bills, life, work, and when I will get it all together. I feel like a dog chasing its tail and never able to catch it. The tail is too short.
Today I am aimlessly focusing on the negative, when I should be focusing on the positive.
It’s my destructive nature.
I am a displaced soldier wanting peace, but craving the war.
I am everything, and I am nothing.