Server Life


I had a rough week, last week. I feel a need to rant. I haven’t had one of these in a while. I’m past due. I cuss. I’m labeled NeverALossForWords because I always have something to say and more often than not, it isn’t pleasant. You have been warned.

I am a server. Sometimes, my customers suck. They treat you like a low rate citizen. They often believe you weren’t cut out for anything above a high school diploma, and they treat you as such, especially if you’re a female. They treat you as if you will never understand what they are saying even after they repeat it 20 times with their condescending attitude.

They don’t look at you. They talk to you in short sentences and they are furious when what they ordered comes out not how they ordered it (even though, that’s how they ordered it).

My server job is a little different. At my job, we sing. We were hired because we sing. We were not hired because of our extra special serving skills. That is acquired later. It is acquired because we were thrown to the wolves and it’s sink or swim, baby. Because of this, we are good. We’ve had to fight to be the best.

It’s busy. It isn’t always busy, but when it is, we are selling more than 1500$ worth of food. 7 servers from 2-9pm. You do the math. That isn’t counting the 7 servers who worked prior – 11 am – 2 pm, who also sold almost 1,000$ in food.

We have 6 tables a piece and sometimes more. We sing. We laugh. We make sure your order is everything you want it to be and more.

We have fun and we would appreciate it if you would have fun too. Perhaps you could clap. I mean I did just refill your drink and drop off your food while I was singing.

Would it be too much to ask for you to put your hands together and show some appreciation?

I make pennies. Pennies. I barely scrape 4$ an hour. My last table tipped me 2$ on a 40$ ticket.

But here I am, singing, laughing, and trying to get you to smile. And here you are, being a dick.

Go be a dick at Denny’s. Perhaps Olive Garden will serve your salty ass?

But if you come into where I work and you can’t manage a smile or a clap of your hands, then step your grumpy ass out of line and let someone who appreciates hard work sit down and eat. Because you could have eaten at McDonald’s and accomplished the same agenda without spending over 20$ – especially if you want to give me attitude.

Do not give a server attitude. They have a job and it certainly is not their job to make you feel extra special. Go ask your mommy to make you feel extra special.

Some servers suck. I’ve had shitty service before. But what I don’t do is go into a restaurant expecting to get shitty service. I go in and act like a decent human being.

I do not go to a restaurant just to eat. I go because it is an experience. If I want to just eat and not interact, I’ll take my happy ass to Hardy’s. Or perhaps, I’ll just go to the store and get a pizza and be fucking salty while I watch Netflix.

Be nice, for God’s sake, be nice. It isn’t hard, unlike your dick attitude.

Let it out... we are all listening.

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